I have 2 boys. Their father and I are divorced. Just making that decision was the hardest thing I have done. My boys were ages 5 and 7 during the divorce and now they are 10 and 12. Being so young I knew they wouldn't understand any of this so I tried to stay as long as I could. To this day, I still cry at the thought of them being so young during all this. The only thing I could do is to not make it any harder on them.

I won't bad mouth my ex in front of them or agree with their criticism of their dad. They know it wasn't their fault. What I am trying to say is that they know that I was wrong and their dad was wrong.

My kids spend equal time with both of us and we try and work things out without fighting. When we were married we didn't fight much it was just no communication or cooperation. If I am seeing someone I tell my kids and they know that this guy is not a replacement father. They know I even I still care about their dad still only in a different way. I keep my feelings to myself even regarding his girlfriend who I dislike very much. I tried very hard to get along with her but it was impossible. She would put me down in front of my kids and their father wouldn't say a word. This is wrong. Now that I think about it, maybe I shouldn't even be writing this article.

For me, maintaining a healthy relationship is easier than for others. My advice for those who have difficult circumstances would be to seek counseling and go from there. It is hard enough to loose your family because your parents did not get along but to keep dealing with the grief and still no relief is torture. Our children love us and they don't understand so don't make them go through anymore pain unless you can't help the matter. That is why I advise some kind of therapy even if it isn't you with the problem, the person with the problem has effected you and your children in some way.

There are support groups out there that can help you and your children. So do it for your children.

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