by Sarah Perryman

Created on: March 18, 2007   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

This is a guideline, based on what is required of teachers in every school in America. The same standards apply to anyone who suspects a child is being harmed. "Better Safe than Sorry" is the motto for this article.

We all know what child abuse is. We hear horror stories in every day from news media. But what most people do not know, is what to do about it if they suspect it is happening.

The first thing you need to do is take notes. On a piece of paper write the time and the place you first noticed the signs of abuse. Keep your notes short and precise. Focus on observing the child.

What do I look for and how do I approach the child?

It is important to pay attention to the warning signs. Each person has an internal system that tells them something is not right. You have to listen to this intuition and take action. Here are some signs to look for:

Non-typical Wounds (Wounds that are not appropriate for their age or activity level)
Non-Typical Bruising
Unkempt Appearance
Awkward Movement
Implausible excuses from the Child and the Parent
Excuses that Change Frequently
Personality Changes
Difficulty Sleeping
Distracted and has Difficulty Concentrating
Do they 'Act Out' (typically found in older children)

You will also want to listen for disclosures. These are statements like, "My Mommy hit me" or "I don't like being touched like that because"

When you approach a child your goal is to gather information while remaining sensitive to the child. It is important to lower yourself to their level, sit beside them, not in front of them (sitting in front can make the encounter feel confrontational), and do not immediately touch the child unless they indicate they need the support.

At this point you need to engage the child through Active Listening. This is a form of conversation that will allow the child to disclose details without being led to specific answers.

Ask questions like:
"Why are you walking like that? Does something hurt?"
"Can you tell me what happened?"
"Are you feeling ok today?"

Do you see how these questions do not ask specifics? These are open questions that allow a child to answer in their own words. They open the gateway to conversation. As the conversation continues you can make statements like:

"And when that happens it doesn't feel very good does it?"

These statements are intended to keep the gateway open and encourage the child to talk more. They also let the child know you recognize how they are feeling. Ask smart questions but never ask "Why" questions. These cause the

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