by Jay Morgetron

Created on: March 18, 2007   Last Updated: April 30, 2007

The Story of the Hot Pink Shoes, a Lesson in Individuality
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I hate that society dictates what we do and how we do it - especially in something as inconsequential as fashion.

I have a friend, who has a two-year-old boy, who wanted her to buy him a pair of hot pink shoes. Her first instinct was to buy the shoes, but her family told her not to do it.

My friend's family never came out and said that they were worried her son could become gay as a result of wearing hot pink shoes, but I have a suspicion that may be why they told her not to do it.

My brother used to dress up as a girl, complete with bra. (He's just fine now by the way - probably a better adjusted adult than I am actually.)

My male cousin used to watch us (his mom, sister, and female cousins) paint our nails. He wanted his painted too! So, we did. His dad about lost his head. He was so angry and didn't want his son to be gay. How ridiculous is that? (By the way, my cousin is now 17 and a proper manly man, who laughs about his nail-painting days.)

I teach high school and when we do an in-class drama and I let the kids dress up, I can almost guarantee at least 3 - 5 boys will jump at the chance to play a female role, for the purpose of wearing a dress and heels.

My point with including these examples in this piece is not to embarrass my brother, cousin, or male students, but to show that just because a boy wants to experiment with "girlish" clothing, does not automatically mean they will grow up to be gay. (It doesn't mean they won't either but who cares anyway? If your son is going to be gay, he's going to be gay whether or not you quash his cross-dressing fancies or not.)

My friend was also worried that someone would make fun of her son, and of course, no one wants his or her son to become the butt of anyone's jokes. However, I think even "big kids" who see him will realize how cute it is that a two-year-old has such a strong opinion about what he wears. (Most people with a shred of common sense will know that the parents didn't pick out pink shoes for their little boy - that it is *he* who is expressing his individuality.) Anyone, (besides maybe another two-year-old), especially an adult, who makes fun of a two-year-old for anything is just plain messed up!

I don't have any sons, so this is from a mother of daughter's perspective, and I know it's different but here goes. I've taken both of my daughters into public places dressed in anything from fairy wings, to plaid shorts with a polka-dot shirt, to Christmas socks pulled up to the knees (in the summer), to bunny ears, and once, with the youngest, with big black tattoos all over her arms (done in secret with Sharpies, too late for mom to catch) - You get the picture. Did anyone ever say, "Look at the way that mother dresses her kids"? Nope. I usually get comments like, "I've been there honey!" or "Looks like some one dressed herself this morning!" I think my friend would have had a similar reaction to pink shoes on her little boy, if she had actually had the chance to take him in public with the shoes. And, for people who are too dense to figure it out - oh well!

In the end, my friend took her little boy to the store to buy him the pink shoes. They had the shoes in the cart, but as they were on their way out, he saw a package of pull-up diapers. He wanted them so badly! She told him he had to make a choice because she only had $15. He ended up choosing the pull-ups. The best thing about this was she left it up to her son.

I will say that next time she has enough money, she plans to return to the store, and if he wants to, she's going to let him get the shoes. I just hope that her little boy is always confident enough to wear pink shoes.

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