I'm in two minds about charities. And I don't know what to think about telethons. I think I'll let my two minds battle it out and I'll take a view when I've heard both sides of the argument!

That's a good idea!'

'I quite agree!'

....................

Last night I watched a few hours of Comic Relief on the tellie. Seems they are expected to raise more than last years 63 million by quite a margin.'

What happens to the money?'

Two thirds goes to Africa and the rest to UK charities'

Why Africa? It' a country rich in natural resources. Surely it's the job of the wealthier African countries to support their needier nations'

True, but unfortunately it doesn't happen.'

Ok - so last year we built a drop in centre for women in Ghana. At the same time their government were spending 10.5 million on Independence Day celebrations.'

Yes, but you can't take that attitude. They need our handouts because it's the only way they are going to get the money they so desperately need.'

How do I know the money is getting through to the people, not just being swallowed up by their rulers to enhance their already lavish lifestyles?'

You don't'

Thank you - one to me! So, how do I know were my money is actually going?'

Today's major charities claim to be more transparent and accountable than ever before.'

Do they? Then how come we've only just found out that Terry Wogan, who has hosted Children in Need for yonks, has actually been paid for his services when all the other celebs give their services for free? I'll tell you - it was discovered thanks to the Freedom of Information Act, otherwise it would stayed his little secret for ever!'

Look, all the celebrities except our Tell probably give their services for nought'

Yes, z-listers trying to make a comeback!'

No no! Last night, Tony Blair, Madonna, Bob Geldorf, the Irish bloke in wrap- round glasses, the Osbournes, Elton John. Need I go on?'

I'd rather you didn't. Anyway, I want to go back to the business of people being paid for running charities. I don't want my money used to pay someone's salary!'

So, you'd rather have Oxfam for instance, run by a bunch of well meaning old ladies sitting around drinking tea and eating fairy cakes! You need professionals, and they - whether you like it or not - cost money!'

You may have a point, but I'm still uncomfortable giving my money to the big boys and I'm certainly not shelling out to the animal ones. They are the biggest recipients by far. No, I have a standing order to a local hospice for instance

only because you think you might need them one day and you hope to get a free upgrade!'

How dare you! Anyway I do sometimes support a major charity when I buy some Charity Shop Couture, but then I'm only doing that because I like a bargain'.

.......

Seems my two minds will stay two minds, on this subject anyway! Well, I'm off to do some busking now. Give generously please!

.

Learn more about this author, Keith Hillman.
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