by Stefani Andrews

Created on: June 03, 2011   Last Updated: November 28, 2011

Domestic violence is more common than most people would like to admit because it so shattering to society's sense of security, safety, and decency. But the fact remains that thousands of men and women every day have to deal with being battered until some finally find a way to escape the pain and violence. Once they have left, however, they then have to deal with many myths and misconceptions about domestic violence from the public. Sadly a lot of those common myths seem to try and place the blame for the violence on the victim. The best way to raise awareness of domestic violence and how to escape it is to increase the public's knowledge of exactly what domestic violence is and is not.

Myth: If your partner is going to be abusive, they'll hit you early on when it's easiest to leave the relationship.

In fact the exact opposite of this is true, most domestic abusers are very intelligent and realize that if they hit their partner early in the process they will lose their control over them. Domestic violence can hide itself and present only subtle clues to the impending danger, sometimes for years. Red flag behavior that people should be on the look out for are things like name calling, being overly possessive, expressing inappropriate anger, or being jealous with no evidence that it is an appropriate reaction. This kind of behavior can all be a sign that the relationship could become violent at some point and the time to leave the situation is when these red flags first appear since it will only be more difficult later on.

Myth:  The problem in these relationships is a lack of communication, or something stressful like losing a job.

Yes, relationships have rough patches and problems.  And all relationships will experience stressful situations like losing a job. But that is never an excuse for violence.  Stress happens to everyone and most people do not resort to violence when it does happen. Being violent because of a stressful experience is a learned behavior and a choice on the part of the abuser. Some people do choose to take out their stress in a violent manner, but it still remains a choice to do so. Lack of communication  or a "bad relationship" is also not an excuse for violence. This places the responsibility on the victim to try and improve the relationship.  Most of the time, even if steps are taken to improve communication, the violence will continue and escalate. This myth is simply

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