by Wendy S. Melton

Created on: May 31, 2011

Maybe the question should be, "Do you humans have the right to be offended?" We, as individuals have our own perceptions, emotions and intellect. We speak our minds freely most of the time, not thinking overly much that what comes out of our mouths will offend someone or be taken the wrong way.

An offense occurs when someone hearing what we have said has an emotional response. We only truly "offend" when we say something that is malicious, spiteful or imbued with the sole intention to hurt another. If we say something out of context and someone takes it the wrong way, that is their perception. Did we intend to do harm? Probably not. Do we feel remorse? Maybe, if after looking back, we realize that what was said could have been very derogatory. When we purposely set out to "offend" or demean someone, they have every right to become upset. Just as it was our decision to make the comment, it is their right to act on it.

Many times, people become "offended" even though what was said was spoken in harmless conversation. There has been no intent to malign or demean. A person just takes the comment the wrong way and continues to run amock with it. Open your eyes and think about what was said. Was it directed at you personally? If it was, by all means, be as offended as you want. If it was spoken in private conversation and uttered without forethought. Forget about it. No harm has been done to you or others. If you feel the need to point out that the comment may be taken the wrong way by others, feel free, but don't begin a tirade over something trivial.

As I said before, an offense is committed when there is intent to harm or malign. If someone says something you don't like in passing, get over it. You have the right to speak your mind as well, but gauge the intent first. If they meant no harm, it just makes you look bad if you go in both barrels blazing and telling them how upset and offended you are. Try an educational approach. If they meant no harm, maybe they don't really know that what they said may be offensive. Talk to them, breach that gap and maybe everyone would learn something.

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