by Ashley Lemus

Created on: May 29, 2011   Last Updated: June 22, 2011

It’s a white wall.

It’s the only one I stare at.  All day long.  Every day.  I’d look out the window but the window just makes me nervous.  The door makes me more nervous because nurses and doctors come and go as they please.  I don’t like it but I can’t stop them.  Not when I’m wrapped up tightly in such a constricting jacket.

They say I’m shut off from the world.  They say I’m insane.  And all because I just want to stare at my white wall.  It’s a safe wall.  A comforting wall.  It means I don’t have to remember things.  It’s void of images and colors.  Nothing to remind me.

Nothing to make me think about the night when everyone died.  The night when I couldn’t control my hands.  I didn’t do it.  I swear I didn’t.  It made me.  It laughs at me.  Teases me.  It’s worse when I have things to stimulate my mind.  I hate colors.  I hate shapes.  They all bring it forward.

Just plain white.  A white wall.  A safe wall.

Learn more about this author, Ashley Lemus.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.