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Oakleys can only be worn by people who aren't afraid to look like they're about to go welding. If you don't own a blow torch, you might want to stay away. And if you do own a blow torch, do whatever you want. No one's gonna mess with a guy with a blow torch.

So you're looking at your own sunglasses, wondering if there is a happy medium, aren't ya? The answer is no. With everything, go big or go home. That doesn't mean size, people. Stay with me here. Bigger isn't always better. A blush brush with a 10-inch circumference isn't going to help me apply to the apples of my cheeks. But I'm gonna wear blush and hold my head high like I'm the best thing since digital clocks. C'mon. You know telling time on an analog clock takes more time than you want.

Wear your oversized sunglasses with pride, and buy multiple pairs. Buy them at the dollar store if you want. I do. I had Dolces and dollar store ones this summer, and no one noticed the difference. Match your sunglasses to your outfits, if you're ready to be that daring. I don't mean wear a red pair with a red shirt though. Match tones, not colors. Brown is always safe. I know someone told you that black goes with everything, but that person is a liar. Black goes with nothing. We'll discuss this later, but for now, have at least one pair of brown sunglasses. It's an earth tone, so it goes with other earth tones (green, khaki, olive, tan, etc.). Get a warm tone for bright outfits with yellows and reds. This last part is for girls only: Have a pink pair for those all black outfits Corporate America makes you wear. The one who stands out is the one who will get the big raise. And, in the case of paychecks, bigger is better. As long as you don't sell your soul to get one.

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