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Sunglasses. To many people, sunglasses are an accessory, but you probably also think a "bag" is an accessory, too. It's a purse. And if you think otherwise, we've got a lot of work ahead of us.

Now, stop rolling your naked eyes. I know it's the winter, but sunglasses aren't reserved for the summer months. Have you seen the sun glare off the snow? That's how accidents happen, people.

So, keep your eyes behind tinted glass. In the winter, it isn't as important to have something with a UV protection unless you're living somewhere that lacks a winter (and if you are, can I come visit for a few months? I'll be a snowbird, and you can be my townie).

While popular culture will tell you that name brand is better, I'll tell you the truth. My $600 Dolce and Gabanna glasses snapped in half just as easily as my glasses from the dollar store. Sunglasses, to most people, are like socks. You put a pair of socks in the washer, and you come out with one. Without fail, you're going to lose a sock. You'll probably end up losing a pair of sunglasses over the course of the summer, too. Two or three if you're like my mom. They'll end up getting left on the beach next to the seashells your kid wanted to take home. If you lose a pair that costs more than a month's rent, you're going to get angry. And, really, there are already so many annoyances in the world. Don't let sunglasses be one of them.

But don't slack off either and buy some cheap pair that has those rainbow lenses and neon green plastic sides. You're screaming tacky.

As much as anyone over the age of 30 laughs, big glasses aren't tacky. They're trendy. Really trendy.

If you buy them too big, you look like you're trying to look like that guy in "The Fly." Remember what happened to him? He turned into a fly and ended up puking on his food before he ate it. That's disgusting, and so is trying too hard. Remember: you're buying sunglasses, not snowboarding goggles.

And, don't ever buy really thin glasses. That's like having a thin mustache. It serves no purpose, aside from people making faces behind your back. Plus, if your sunglasses are too thin, you're just letting sun in from the top anyway, and you deserve to be slapped upside the head so those glasses fall off and get stepped on just to put them out of their misery.

By popular belief, Oakleys are cool. But that doesn't mean you can go to the flea market and buy a knock off pair and pass them off (plus, they'll say something like Okley on the side, anyway. Proda is not Prada).

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