by Timiarah A. Camburn

Created on: May 28, 2011

Being a person who has struggled with a lot of emotional pain and suffering I can honestly say that it is very difficult to get rid of past baggage. The reason that the baggage stays for so long is not so much because a person wants to wallow in self pity or hatred and aggression. The baggage gets stuck within some people's souls because they lack the proper knowledge and coping skills necessary to use the negative experience as a tool. When a negative event happens and its energy is not used in a positive fashion then it turns inward and eats away at the individual who experienced it.

Getting rid of baggage requires a bit of a strategy and quite some time. It is not impossible to do such if a person has a strong will to be happy and emotionally healthy. Here are a few tips on how to overcome bad things:

1.) Learn: The first thing one must do is learn to see the lesson in the experience and draw from it. Everything that happens in life teaches a lesson. Even if it is a "what not to do" lesson, it is still a lesson. For instance, if a person gets dumped by a loser it should be taken as a lesson on what kind of man not to date in the future.

2.) Reflect: There is nothing wrong with spending time analyzing the relationship to see where things went wrong, but time spent on sulking is precious time wasted that could be used on positive things like planting flowers or writing a useful article. Put some time aside to review the relationship in your mind and jot down things that you could have handled better. Save it for the next relationship. There will be a next relationship.

3.) Take Time Out: Baggage will always tend to stick around if the proper healing time is not taken. Do not rush into another relationship. You will only self destruct by taking out your frustrations on the next guy or girl. Take a breather. After a breakup people feel emotionally how boxers look in the corner of the ring after they catch a beat down. There is nothing wrong with sitting in the corner and sipping some water for a while before jumping back out there.

4.) Forgive: Forgiving is not to be confused with forgetting. Forgiving someone does not mean that you should catch amnesia about all of the horrible things that may have been done to you. Forgiving means realizing that you can not control the actions of others and what is done is past history. Forgiving also means being able to stop punishing yourself for your perceived mistake in choosing to date that person who hurt you so dearly. You messed up. You are human. Move along.

5.) Let Go: Letting go is perhaps the most difficult part of the process of dumping baggage. Subconsciously when people express anger and resentment toward the people who hurt them (or completely innocent people) they are attempting to punish someone for the wrong doings. Unfortunately the only one being punished by these emotions is that person. The longer that hate and anger is felt is the longer that negativity can rule one's life.

The best thing to do with all of those uncool emotions is to remove them from your chest, ball them up real tight and slingshot them straight into the sunlight where they will explode. Pain can not exist in the light so put that nasty thing right in the sun first thing in the morning. After that happens, the air will clear and you can go on to living a wiser, happier life.

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