I think compatibility is very important in relationships because I was once married for twenty years to a man who started out playing paddle ball with me, teaching me to drive a stick-shift standard transmission vehicle and bicycle riding with me as well as camping. After we were married, I cooked and cleaned and worked in an office job, and he worked in a managerial supermarket job. Once in awhile his sister or my family would have to call first and then he would decide if they could come over and when. I learned to sew clothes for creativity and lots of new recipes. I could not "disappear" over to my childhood girlfriend's house across the street without his prior approval or he would have a fit. Yet he could disappear for hours with his friends which he says he rarely did and that he was always working overtime. I was always supposed to be with family which I usually preferred anyway, but I did get to go to make ceramics with a family friend a couple of times. What happened was all the things he had done with me before we married he no longer did after marriage, especially after our two children were born. The exception was that he sometimes became involved in our son's sports activities. We never did anything alone anymore though. One time I got a sitter, and he complained that he wanted the children there too. The problem was that he was becoming a couch potato, and I was trying to revive our relationship. After eighteen years, he began telling me he only missed my cooking when he would go TDY for, fixing airplane engines. Then he called one night and said he was at a bar with the guys, and it went downhill from there.

After a tumultuous divorce and ten years mostly of staying alone with a couple of brief mistakes with men that did not respect me and nearly made me lose respect for myself, I met my current husband online on a dating site which was good. I'd always been interested in education and did well at writing, and he was a writer. I was always writing essays for college courses and asked to proofread and even revise superior employees work at my work place in the past. Tim was interested in my editing work because he said he needed that kind of help as a writer. Although I love to write, I love to help by editing his work. As I'm older now, we both love to take walks, both of us cook meals and clean up the dishes. Recently we saw a play and ate dinner out in Manhattan. Separately I go to mass, although he has gone with me at times. I have some church and prayer group friends who I see around and occasionally get invited to their birthday or Christmas parties with Tim. He married me in the Catholic Church so that I could still receive my sacraments.

I have no idea if my exhusband who I know remarried has more in common with his current wife, but I thought you were supposed to grow old together and hopefully become grandparents. I think there are too many affairs nowadays because my exhusband had more than one after my car accident when I was still trying to do everything I could and make things work out. I think some people are takers and not givers and that compatibility can change over time. I just know that I'm very happily married to Tim and hope to be with him through all eternity, and he says the same things. We make each other happy as we write away!

Learn more about this author, Annetherese McCorkell.
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