CHEAP LIMES

Once upon a time (and here, I'm talking mid-sixties) the good ladies behind the cash register in the supermarket were actually employed for their skill. They were possessed of the most phenomenal memories known to mankind not to mention a set of the fastest fingers (a pair of attributes that would have been the envy of any common-or-garden concert pianist). There were no bar codes or even price stickers then. In front of your eyes they would reel off the prices of any of the thousands of items for sale and at the same time be entering the information into the old manual cash registers. These ladies were always middle-aged and had reached their exalted positions after years of rigorous training. There was a vast rolodex type thing there which listed all the prices but they were really only used occasionally and to settle disputes.

Nowadays, of course, they don't have to know what day of the week it is as they just drag the items past the scanner. Problems arise, however, when fruit and vegetables actually have to be identified. So I have gotten used to standing there with my nice face on saying things like That's a walnut, my love.' or No, treasure, eggplants and passionfruit are not the same.'

Every so often, though, if I am quick enough off the mark it can work to my advantage.

Teenager: (staring vacuously at a kilo of limes) What's this?'

Me: Lemons'

Teenager: That'll be two dollars'

Me: Thank you' (Walking past large sign LIMES - $13.30 kg')

Learn more about this author, Scott Hannigan.
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