by Kirsty O'Lone

Created on: May 10, 2011

So you have finally set a date for your wedding, but now you need to decide exactly who you want there to celebrate with you. Your numbers are determined by the size of your venue in a lot of cases so it is a good idea to have a rough number in mind when booking. Once you have booked your venue and know exactly how many people you can invite it is time to figure out just exactly who you want there and who you don’t.

Deciding who to invite to your wedding can actually be quite difficult, there are family members who you may not have seen for a while who will no doubt be expecting an invite just because they are family, and there will almost always be someone who your parents want to invite but you are not so keen on the idea. Remember that it is your day; it should be about who you want there, not who expects to be there.

Of course you will not want to upset anyone by not inviting them, and you certainly don’t want to offend your parents or future in-laws by telling them that someone they want to invite can’t come. If you are having a small wedding you may find it especially hard to shrink down the guest list while still managing to include all your long lost cousins. You may have to simply explain to your family that you are having a small wedding and you cannot invite everyone so you have to invite the people closest to you.

You need to make sure that all the people who are important to you get an invite, it may be best to start your list with your immediate family and then move on to close friends. You don’t want to get to the end of your list and realise that you have forgotten to invite your grandmother! Once you have all your close friends and family on the list, if you still have room for a few more guests you can then look at extended family if you wish.

If you really feel that you need to invite all your cousins even if you are not close then by all means make room for them if you can, but do not let anyone pressure you into inviting them just because they are relatives. Remember that this is your wedding, not your mothers or anyone else’s and at the end of the day it should be about who you want there sharing your day.

There may be some people who you feel you have to invite to keep the peace, and if this is what you want to do then that is fine, provided they are not getting an invite at the expense of a close friend that you really would rather have there. However if your mother insists that you invite that woman across the street because her son is your cousins boyfriend then it just might be time to put your foot down and say no.

When trying to decide who to invite to your wedding it is important to remember that it is your day, nobody else’s. You must make sure that the people who you want to share your day with are there, and not just people who happen to be a distance relative. Of course there may be some people who you have to invite just to keep the peace, and if that is what you want to do then by all means do it but remember that this is meant to be the most important day of your life and you should celebrate it with the people who matter most to you.

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