by Mel Bergen

Created on: March 16, 2007   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

Many children are scheduled into so many structured activities these days. When you wander around your neighborhood you rarely see children just playing around. There is generally an adult or two standing over a group of kids telling them what to do, and how, and when. The little ones are not allowed to make up rules or to change games when they get bored with their current activity, because mom and dad are paying a lot of money for them to be there learning how to do something "right".

I know that a lot of people look ahead to when their children are nearly grown and will want all of those activities, preferably with words like "Captain" and "Junior Coach" attached, listed on their college applications. It's lovely to try to give your child every advantage. But I can't help but wonder what sort of leg up we're giving children by putting them in so many activities that force them to spend all of their time following instructions and doing what they are told. They already spend their most of their day at school being good listeners and behaving.

We have chosen to allow our children to use their imaginations most of the time, instead. If they ask to be involved in an extra-curricular activity, we certainly say yes. But they do very well inventing games to play in the house and yard and at the park. When we do our shopping on the weekends they come up with ways to entertain themselves without disturbing the other patrons. They can invent their own board game on a placemat at a restaurant and play happily until dinner arrives.

The biggest bonus, though, is that they play with their parents. We have family time rough-housing or playing hide and seek. We read chapter books together. We play catch and have races with our puppies at the dog park. We dance all around the house to their favorite songs. We perfect our cartwheels and somersaults. We make, and squish, clay animals of all sorts. My husband and I know the names of their imaginary friends, what colors they are, and what kind of invisible cars they drive.

To us, those times are more important than knowing how to play T-ball. The odds that our kids are going to be professional athletes are pretty slim, but the odds that they'll have well-developed senses of wonder and fun are 100%. That will hold them in good stead as they grow up, and is teaching them to do that "thinking outside of the box" that so many people find important.

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