by Darian Sinclair

Created on: May 10, 2011   Last Updated: May 18, 2011

This philosophy works well, but, usually for only one side of the equation, the side that doesn’t want to have anything to do with the other. Invariably, there is the other half that is left confused and isolated from the family that they love and thought they were loved in return. This is exactly what has happened with my wife and her family .There is something to be said for the long distant relationship. That scenario is a far easier one to justify than if you live in the same neck of the woods. It makes things that much harder for the side of the family being ignored if there is no explanation as to why they are being treated in this way. Selfishness rules the day and that is all there in that regard. That is because there are always other people involved besides the main reason for the separation. For example, if you are married and your wife doesn’t get along with your mother, then your wife will eventually make you chose between your mother and her. Such was the case with my wife’s brother and his wife. If the relationship sours even more, then she wanted to break away completely so that she can be the mother hen of her own clan. This action has had collateral damage, because, you have just alienated yourself from your side of the family. This may sound great to you because you don’t like any of them anyway, but, what if you have siblings? What if your sibling has children and their children are close with your children? Now, you may be able to smooth things over with your own kids by telling them how much better off you all will be by not associating with such a class of people. But, what if they can’t? What if you own sibling is left in the dark as to why their brother or sister doesn’t come for Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays, or any of the other gatherings that once went on? There will be hurt feelings, but, you won’t care because it won’t be your feelings that get hurt. We are all in control of our own feelings and don’t have to let the actions of other people affect our own, but, try telling that to a four year-old child! It is indeed a very early lesson in life for that child on how cruel and cold-hearted the world is. Alas, empathy is a difficult skill to employ when the human race has been reduced to a three inch screen that we use to communicate with the person standing next to us. It has been a difficult period in our lives trying to understand how people that we thought loved us so much really didn’t after all, at least, not enough to try.

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