by Fletch

Created on: March 16, 2007   Last Updated: May 16, 2007

Looking back at my past relationships in somewhat of a scientific manner, I've narrowed things down to one significant aspect. Every relationship of mine that has ended because my ex went from treating me as the love of her life to being cold and hateful in a matter of a week or two, all have one thing in common. All of these women were raised by parents that had gone through a rough or difficult divorce, sometimes more than once.

I'm not claiming this to be a fact in any way. I'm just speaking from my own personal experience and what I've learned from friends and family. Looking at things logically though, one could see that as children we naturally look to our parents as our first example of what a relationship should be. If a poor example is set, and if there was a lot of hateful words or actions involved, then naturally as children we would find that to be acceptable. Although, society in general teaches us that a relationship shouldn't work that way. So as an adult that child would pretend to have stronger feelings for someone and lie about the way they truly feel, just to fit in with society. Then when they are ready to move on, they can drop that person like they never mattered to them.

The major drawback involved in going through life this way is the constant feeling that things will always be better off with the person that they aren't currently involved with. They end up spending most of their life miserable and longing for someone that they treated like dirt in their past. This person is naturally such a coward that they wouldn't admit this anyone. Hiding their true feelings becomes second nature to them and it is very easy for them to rationalize their actions to relieve themselves of the guilt that normal, mentally stable people would feel. They feel better about doing someone wrong, by doing the same thing to another person. It ends up becoming a vicious cycle that they won't ever break because they are too proud and stubborn to consider that the problem lies with them.

This type of person is very easy for the honest hearted individual to fall for. They are usually very caring and loving in the beginning and seem to sweep you off your feet. They tend to be the life of the party and seem to be very happy and content in life. It's not until you are emotionally invested in that person before you realize that it's all an act. They turn out to be a very miserable, mean and hateful person. A wolf in sheep's clothing!

Being a very open and truthfully hearted person, like myself, it is easy for someone to pull the wool over my eyes. I don't see this until it is too late. Then I panic and try to save something that wasn't even there in the first place. This just ends poorly for me every time.

I now diligently look at how a person was raised. I would still date someone that was raised by parents that went through a messy divorce, but I would be overly cautious and very suspicious of that person's sincerity.

Learn more about this author, Fletch.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.