by Janice Heath

Created on: May 08, 2011

Almost every day we face situations where there is a need to make conversation with people we don’t know.  It might be in a business or in a social situation, waiting for a coffee or for the bus.  It might be a requirement of the job if you are in a customer service or sales role.  Some people find making conversation an easy and pleasurable activity.  Those people are probably not reading this article.  If you sometimes find it challenging to make conversation with strangers, having a store of the best conversation starters available to break the ice is a great way to make friends wherever you go.

So what are the best conversation starters?  Without a doubt the number one answer is simply to ask questions of the other person and then listen attentively to their response.  You can start and maintain the most fascinating conversations simply by asking a few questions.  The questions should be diplomatic and respectful, it is very easy to tell from the other person’s response whether they wish to talk about the particular topic or not.  If they do, be prepared to listen. If the topic is not appealing the response will be monosyllabic and further questions will be required to maintain the conversation. 

Questions such as "what do you do for a job?” and “what are you doing for the holidays?” while traditional, are still useful questions and may start the conversation flowing. If not try a few more enquiries such as whether the person has an interest in sports or photography or dogs or cooking.  The subject really doesn't matter, it's just finding out where their interests lie. Everyone has something they want to talk about.  You just need to ask a few questions to find out what that is.

Offering a genuine compliment is another way to start a conversation.  There is always something nice you can find to say, even if you can’t think of a specific compliment to pay the person you are speaking to you can make a comment on the great weather, a nice story in the news or anything at all really that has made you feel good.  Talking about positive things increases your appeal as a conversational partner.

Asking for advice can also be a great way to break the ice.  This does not mean that when you meet a doctor at a party you ask their opinion on any symptoms of ill health you may be experiencing.  Asking for advice, opinions and recommendations in relation to good places to visit or interesting books they have enjoyed can be very appealing as most people like to offer help and advice.

One really great conversation starter is to have an interesting life.  If you have an unusual job, out of the ordinary hobbies, are involved in community work or have travelled to interesting parts of the world, then you have much to offer in the conversational stakes.  The more activities you are involved in, the greater your general knowledge and the easier it is to talk with people from a wide range of backgrounds and diverse interests.

Every friendship, personal and business relationship you currently possess began through a conversation. So take a deep breath, smile and start a conversation with someone you don’t know…yet.   

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