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When raising children it is important to remember that no two children are alike. Your children might have similarities but they can also be complete opposites. For each child the punishment they receive has to be structured to how it will help them grow and learn. This also applies to rewards as giving one child a verbal congratulations the other child could be upset that you didn't give him a hug instead. Even if methods worked for one child you can never be sure that they will work for another child even if they are twins.

If you have to punish your children you need to take into account a few different aspects of each child. You need to determine which type of punishment works best. If one of your children hates to read, taking reading away from him won't be affective, but if your other child does. It could be the worst punishment you could ever mete out. One child might not like to eat, so if you punish them by having them go to bed without supper then they are happy and you aren't punishing them. That is why you have to understand your children before you start deciding what punishment works best for each individual child.

The reward system for children should be handled in the same way. If you have a child that doesn't like to be touched then giving them a hug when they do something well will seem like a punishment to them. On the other hand if you have a child that is very demonstrative and you tell her good job without a hug then she feels like she did something wrong. You always need to be mindful of your child and their personality in not only punishments but in rewards also.

All children are different; they think differently and react to situations differently. It is up to you as the parent to find out what type of behavior is most appropriate for your child. The best way to do this is to get to know them, which means spending time with them in a consistent manner. Not only will it help you to understand your children, but the enjoyment you will receive from the contact will be with you for the rest of your life.

Learn more about this author, Patti Winters.
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