by S J

Created on: March 15, 2007   Last Updated: May 11, 2007

I love my kids very much. They were very wanted and planned for by both my husband and myself. Everyday I feel blessed to wake up to the job of being their mom; of nurturing them, teaching them, and protecting them. My kids need me and I like being needed.

But some day in the future, there will come a day when I won't want to be so needed anymore. On that day, I imagine white graduation gowns, diplomas, cake and punch. I envision suitcases and trunks full of photo albums and quilts. We'll all embrace, smile for the camera and wave goodbye. Yes, I want my children to grow up...and leave. Not because I'm tired of them or have better plans without them, but because that is the cycle of life. We are born, we skin our knees and leave fingerprints on freshly painted walls...we laugh, we cry, we hide our journals and fight with our siblings. ..we study, we graduate and then...we leave home.

So, while my children are still under my roof and in my care, there are very few more important things for them to learn than to be responsible. Because responsibility is not a gift that I can hand them on their 18th birthday, I must begin teaching it while they are young (and still think that I'm the smartest mom on the block and actually have eyes in the back of my head and a direct phone line to God).

Responsibility will come to them in little requests, like "please put your dishes in the sink" and "can you put all the toys back in the toybox before you go outside to play?". Responsibility will also be witnessed as I make promises like, "We'll go to the library after I finish my grocery shopping", and keep them. It will also be enforced when they hear, "I'm sorry that you will miss the sleepover, but you agreed to complete your homework first, and you failed to follow-through." Responsibility be live in our home just the same as our dog Rosie and Piper the teddy-bear hamster. It will greet my children in the morning as they learn to make their own beds before breakfast and will tuck them in at night as I faithfully read and pray with them.
As I hold myself accountable to being responsible to them, and hold them accountable to being responsible to the rest of the family, beautiful, meaningful, sustainable habits will be forming. And what once was a request or a chore will become the structure that supports my children into adulthood.

Sometimes I wonder how many times I will have to ask for the table to be cleared or remind a child to put his backpack in the closet or feed the dog, but most of the time, or at least more often than in the past, I warm with pride at my growing children. Yes, I'm training them to leave one day, but because of the wonderful human beings that they have become, they will we welcome home anytime.....

Learn more about this author, S J.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.