by Mary Gage

Created on: March 15, 2007   Last Updated: April 27, 2010

It happened in the middle 90's... The fad was blue jeans with a tiny padlock where a button would normally be, and attached to a belt-loop was a small chain with a tiny key. My dad used to tease me, that he was going to keep the key at home, that way I would be safe from the boys... well, one day, I was at college, and I had my "cool" jeans on, and I drank too much coffee... Well, class was over and I really really really needed to go to the washroom. I was on my way, got into the stall, and to my horror, there was no key to the cute little padlock... Not cool.

Having washed my jeans, I forgot to reattach the key, well, I was in a major dilemma, I phoned home and asked my mom to bring the key, which she said she would, the only problem being, we lived out of town, and it would take her a good 20 min to get there... I had maybe 19 1/2 minutes tops before I was about to explode, I had to think of an alternative solution just in case... After pacing for about 10 mins, I knew I couldn't wait any longer, I had to find some kind of relief, I started looking for the maintenance department, thinking they may have some kind of lock cutter to get these things off. I found the man with the cutter, however, the cutter was much to big to get a hold of the lock... After about another good 3-4 mins of him trying to get a hold of the lock, and me trying not to die of embarrassment, the wonderful man, decided to get on his hand walkie talkie and announce to his staff that he was having a problem unlocking a students jeans, and need some assistance.... I'm not quite sure if it was the way he announced it, or just sheer curiosity of those listening, but that small private situation, became an almost public spectacle... And the lock was still on, and I still really really really had to go.... By this point, my mother had arrived at the college, and was wandering around looking for me, and decided to go to the main office to page me.

Imagine my total embarrassment now, when I not only have a small gathering of men trying to figure out how to get my pants undone, when I hear...."..... your mother is here with they key to unlock your jeans, she is in the office", did I mention my boyfriend was student body president, and she went to find him to page me.... Lucky me... Now I am in full 100 meter dash mode to make it to the office and to the washroom before the torrential flood occurs, and Noah's Arc must be quickly reconstructed... I of course made it just in time, however, when I finally made it out of the bathroom and back to the hallway, there was now a small crowd gathered, and a round of applause and laughter when I opened the bathroom door.

Every time I wore those jeans after that, I triple checked that the key was very close by, cause I was not going through that again

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