In August of 1999, I had the "pleasure" of having heart by-pass surgery. The doctor performing this task asked me if I was afraid or nervous about the thought of having my heart stopped and the possible fact that it might not start beating again after the operation. My reply to him was this; "Doctor, I have raised two teenage daughters, what in this world could possibly scare me?"

When my daughters reached their teen years, before I talked to them about anything, I tried to remember what I felt when I was at that age. It was at this point that I became numb with terror as I recalled what I was thinking at that time in my life, and prayed that they would be different. I also realized that my thoughts, words, and times for battles had to be chosen with great care as some of the things I said might influence them in matters of grave concern. It would be nice to say I was always right, but it would be very wrong.

The very first thing any child must know, and know without a shadow of doubt, is that they are loved, and nothing says love better than a great big, heart-felt hug.
Be very sure that you never give your children a half-hearted hug; they spot a no-meaning hug as quick as the golden arches of a MacDonald's. Teens may resist hugs, but do it anyway as in their latter years, they will remember the hugs more than the stern talks we have to sometimes give. My theory is: "If we don't hug and show love to them, we relinguish our right to spank, correct, or otherwise discipline them."

In choosing our "battles"(could we not find a better word here than battles), we need to decide if the time calls for calm or anger. Many today discount anger as a bad thing. I do not agree and think, in some situations, a little anger is called for. All situations, like all our children, are different, and the most important task a parent has is to know the difference.

The "battles" WILL come, and most of the time, we don't get to choose them, but we can decide how to handle them. Many books have been written by people who are experts (may I have a small laugh here) about raising children. The only thing I ever found to work was to pray and then do the very best I knew at the time. The best and sweetest words I ever heard came from my oldest daugther after she had children of her own. She said; "Dad, your were right." I said; "About what?' She said; "A lot of things!" Needless to say, my heart and my head swelled!

Learn more about this author, Larry Mcnair.
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