by Daniel Cloud

Created on: April 12, 2011

Helium is a world wide website phenomenon of epic and magestic proportions known for wandering off the beaten path at times due to being lighter than air. Thus far in the year 2011, Helium has managed to stay within the earth's lower atmosphere, and continues to expand its operations with award-winning freelance special force units like myself.

When the call of duty to write something spectacular happens to pop up on the world wide web, an elite team of freelancers at Helium make it happen. Helium consists of more than 100,000 freelance combat platoons.

People often ask me personally, particularly when I am delivering speeches at the United Nations; what Helium is all about, but frankly, its classified. It's so classified, the true meaning and purpose is locked in a safe in the Arctic Circle, and no one knows the code after it was lost on a Post-It note.

What I can tell you is that Helium is a medium for freelance writers to deliver their knowledge and wisdom to others on the internet with rapid fire. Unlike Wikipedia, Helium soldiers must start from scratch, and only the best fighter makes it to the top ranked numero uno.

Helium pays each of its mercenaries with a share of advertising revenue from the fallen enemy. Wikipedia, only attracts elitists who want to be known for their contribution to the unofficial world encyclopedia that is written from one point of view... a boring one.

Helium is more than a mere encyclopedia, but a database of news, opinions, facts, history, and creative stories that bring tears to even the most battle-hardened freelancing brutse. Creativity is encouraged, and each soldier has his and her own styles of combat writing.

Helium has 5 ranks, much like a General in the Army. You can have 1 - 5 writing stars, better known as "those bluish Helium star-shaped .gif files lined up in a row." If you have no stars, you are most likely a new recruit, or write exclusively in the creative writing section. It is this area where scientists come up with new ways to make things explode onto the web.

Working for Helium is not only an honor, but it is a privilege requiring dedication, and most of all, the ability to write with proper English grammar. Due to the overwhelming obstacle of understanding English grammar, most mercs give up after writing only a few mission articles. So, can you stand and fight for the right to... well write?

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