by Joan Kuper

Created on: April 11, 2011

Do unto yourself as you would have others do unto you. Think about this variation of the Golden Rule. You live with yourself 24/7. Doesn’t it just make sense to be your own best friend?

What Friends Do For Each Other.

*Friends have their friend’s best interests at heart.

Are you careful to be mindful of how you will personally be affected when others ask for or need your help? Do you take on too much because you can’t refuse others and want them to think well of you? It is admirable to help others, but you must be sure you are not harming your health or finances. By taking care of yourself, you will be around longer and be more capable of helping even more people.

*Friends support emotionally.

Are you kind to yourself when you have emotional stress? I do not mean to coddle feeling sorry for yourself, but there is a limit to how much you should berate yourself for mistakes. Be philosophical. Vow to improve as you forgive yourself for being human and making mistakes.

*Friends are truthful in a kind and tactful manner.

Are you honest and stern, yet kind to yourself? Do you tell yourself you are an idiot who can’t do anything right? How about next time just acknowledging you screwed up and pledge to do better.

*Friends comfort when sad.

When you are sad do you allow a certain amount of sadness and keep it in perspective. Reassure yourself that it’s ok to be sad, even angry, but the sadness will not last forever and is a temporary condition.

*Friends cheer on their friends when they are challenged.

You can and should be your own most dedicated cheerleader. You can tell yourself you are capable and remind yourself of past successes. You can take some of the stress off by telling yourself if it doesn’t work out, there will be other opportunities.

*Friends support their friends in their goals.

Set realistic goals for yourself and expect to meet many of them. Give yourself pep talks when feeling less than capable.

Consider the above and add anything more you would want from a friend. Apply the kindness to yourself. Ultimately it is you, yourself, and you no matter how many friends and acquaintances you may have. Be good to yourself. You deserve kindness and forgiveness matter how many times you have screwed up. You always have another chance as long as you are alive.

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