by Daniel Cloud

Created on: April 09, 2011

Taxes in the humor section... is that some kind of joke? I don't want to sound out of place, as taxing the country's citizens is part of the grand design of trying to prove to the UN that real "dollars" exist. Losing that reserve United States currency would be a real shame.

The United States will then officially be laughed off the face of the imperialist war-machine map and forced to live off of rice patties and chocolate-covered ants. Do you want to see the fall of the republic of the United States? I sure don't, so what is the solution. Take all the money from the banks because a bank can create money by typing a number into a computer database.

We must all band together to fight the free-fall debt machine that is courtesy of the banking industry. If you work at a bank, well it's not your fault, so don't take it personally... but it's your company's fault, and do take that personally.

Most of you that work at a bank don't even realize your bank can lend money according to the "10% rule." If your boss wants to throw out $10 million in loans, then the bank only has to have $1 million in reserves. So in essence, the bank just created another $9 million of non-existent money to be paid back with interest rates that the Lord Jesus Christ, Himself, would call usery.

Now all we have to do is pass a law that says, all banks must lend 10 times what they have in reserves to the IRS. So if the banks have a trillion dollars in reserves then we can loan the IRS $10 trillion. BAM, that is a significant portion of our debt. After that, we can just print more money at the Federal Reserve, which is owned primarily by foreigners with greasy hair and 100 kilo stocks of cocaine. The Fed is not even a United States government entity you see.

Once we have printed off another trillion dollars, we can divide it amongst the banks. Then we just re-force another loan of $10 trillion to the IRS. Now we have a surplus. President Barry Obama will take about twelve hours to tell us how he personally solved the world financial problem by reading an article by a mere peasant, rice-loving writer, from a freelance writing website with knowledge of the 10% rule.

Then what do we do to stop the hyperinflation that will occur from printing all that money? Easy, we give each American citizen several million dollars from the surplus, and the economy will BOOM like the warheads we drop on innocent civilians to fight the bearded-men in caves who number about 37 people worldwide.

It's a simple two-fold process. Make the banks create $20 trillion dollars, pay them in taxes to pay off the national debt, leaving a surplus, and then give every American millions of the leftovers. Small business will rise, consumer confidence will expand, jobs will explode, and that hyperinflation will slow down. Sure a cop of coffee will cost $57 for a few years, but you have millions of dollars, so you are still going to come out ahead.

Slowly the economy will recover and settle at a new economic supply and demand, and no one will ever be taxed again, because this method can be re-used over and over. The European Union and the United Nations can then bow down, and kiss the ass of the United States once more.

I just solved the world economic crisis in under 700 words.

You're welcome Obama, because I will receive no credit for this solution to taxation of the people being eliminated. I will also receive no credit for crippling the banks to the point that they must actually follow the law. And I will receive no credit when every American is a millionaire in a booming economy that will recover completely in a few years.

Maybe it's best Obama takes the credit, because if this doesn't work, I don't want to be held responsible.

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