Good morning class, and welcome to Flirtation 101. Notebooks at the ready...
Now, hang on a minute. You can't learn how to flirt - or can you?
Well, yes, the tricks are quite simple. Flirting implies a certain level of attraction, and we're all subject to the same subconscious body-language triggers which show we are attracted to another. For example, if someone's body is turned towards yours when they are talking to you (rather than turned away), and especially if their feet are pointing towards you as well, you're in there! Make sure you don't work against the subtle signals they're throwing you - subtly mirror their body language and gestures, and hold eye contact for just a little too long. And smile.
So - how to catch that stranger's attention? Generally we will scope a room - either consciously or unconsciously - when we enter it. It's a deep-seated instinct, so trust me, you're generally doing it even if you think you aren't! By the same token, people already in that room will do likewise, so if you're quick, you have an instant opportunity to catch that attractive stranger's eye. But what if you miss? Well, don't panic. Don't be loud, or crass to attract their attention, as there are much better tried and tested ways. If you're bolder, sit or stand next to them, and strike up conversation. Listen carefully to any hints they give you about their interests, and pick up on them. If you're shy, well, still stand near them, and wait until they glance your way, then make eye contact, and smile. Make sure you do this several times, and if they're interested in you, then THEY will make the first move!
If your flirtation is ongoing - say, in an office, or a social group - then you have further scope. "Accidental" touching when talking, or passing objects, slow "we have a secret nobody else knows" smiles across dull meetings, and shy glances across the water cooler all make life more colourful. However, be careful in this potentially litigious age that your flirtation really does go both ways, and set the most innocent of boundaries to safeguard both of you.
Perhaps the best kind of flirtation of all is the "I am never going to see you again, but you're gorgeous flirtation", usually perpetrated on trains, tubes, and buses. Your eyes meet, you smile across the crowded carriage, perhaps you "accidentally" brush past each other when you get off at your stop. Then you're through the ticket barrier, and you'll never see them again. But you'll smile and feel more attractive all day long.
And you can flirt at any age. The most accomplished flirt I ever knew was my grandmother. In her early 80's, she had a lengthy spell in hospital, but her ever-sharp retort "I'm not dead...yet!" was much in evidence when it became apparent that every male nurse on the ward was at her beck and call. She could still work the fluttering eyelashes and soft voice routine flat on her back and drawing her pension.
So - class dismissed. Homework this week is to flirt with that handsome (or beautiful) stranger. And remember, you're not dead...yet!