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Created on: March 15, 2007 Last Updated: February 10, 2011
Today's job market is flooding with candidates that can do your job either just as good as you or better. Losing your job is easier now than ever before. Job websites like Careerbuilder.com and Monster.com have made employees interchangeable. Here are some easy ways to lose your job.
Do not adhere to the dress code. Casual Friday is a thing of the past. You should start Casual Monday thru Thursday. Feel free to dress casually on Friday if you want, but I'm sure you will either be written up or reprimanded by then. Dress Codes give superiors power when trying to enforce the code. If you do not respect the dress code, you are taking a little power away from your superior, which is always a great way of losing your job.
Show up late to work, everyday. Make sure that you are showing up late enough for everyone to notice. If your boss arrives later than you and wouldn't notice if you showed up 20 minutes late, then take a longer lunch. Possibly bring in a cup from the restaurant that you were at and slurp it up in your cubicle when you get back.
Don't shave, or possibly bathe. An unprofessional appearance is another way to lose your job. To add some creativity, possibly shave your facial hair into different mustache shapes like a Hulk Hogan or a Hitler. You do not need deodorant, make sure that you get some nice pit stains in that Oxford shirt that you tie-dyed last night.
Date you boss's daughter or your boss. If you date your boss's daughter, make sure that he catches you with her, preferably at his house. If you try the "date your boss" scenario, make sure that you get a lot of photos. You will need to head to your local Kinko's and make a few large posters and hang them up in the employee lounge (this could even be useful if you date the boss's daughter).
Do not do any work, ever. This way is probably one of the hardest ways to lose your job. I have known plenty of people that never do any work and they get to keep their job. You will need to really go out of your way to show that you are not doing anything. Maybe take a walk around the office a few times a day and chat up the hot new temp in accounting. Play Solitaire on your computer, and if you win, you must do a dance. If that doesn't work, just take a nap.
Those were some ways to lose your job, feel free to add any extra creativity when practicing these methods. If these reasons do not get you fired from your job, you need to keep your job.
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