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So, You Write About Sex? Don't Be Afraid!

Okay, folks, so you've been observing. You've hopefully become more aware of your surroundings, the people who come into, and move out of, your life, and your feelings about . . . well, your feelings about everything. This is crucial for anyone who wants to write, but it's even more of an issue when that person is writing about the most intimate, the most exposed, emotionally as well as physically, elements of human nature.

Our sexuality puts us into a place where we cannot lie. Honesty is not only crucial in this endeavor, it's unavoidable. And when we're writing about sexuality, I believe it's impossible to not involve that inescapable honesty. If we, as erotic writers, attempt to be anything less in our words, our work will not ring true. And any readership we may have gathered to that point will quickly disappear.

In other words, respect your readers. They are coming to you, to your brand of writing in this very specific genre, because there is something in your word pictures that draws them in, that compels them to want to read more. You won't be finding just anyone reading erotic writing. Many will be put off by it and those people won't come anywhere near your work. Don't worry about them. The ol' adage that you can't please everyone is oh-so-true, and it's particularly true in regards to erotica. You have to be as honest with yourself as you are willing to be with your readers. You must understand that some people will not only not like what you write, they will actively work against you.

This brings us to the next most important qualities a writer of erotica must possess: a bold lack of fear and a willingness to embrace personal vulnerability. If you write in this field and the general public begins to associate your name and work with oh no! not that word SEX, you will, I promise you, you will find yourself under a microscope, and the lens of that microscope will focus in on you closer and closer as your work becomes better known. The public will question you and, even more pointed, your family and friends will begin to look at you in a different light.

It's a funny thing, really, if we think about the sexual world around us. And this sexual world is for the most part created, not natural. TV shows, films, product advertisements, clothing, books . . . the generally-accepted idea is that sex sells. So why is it that, as a society, we try to hide behind an unnatural veil of asexuality? Why do we gasp

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