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anything if I felt he deserved a special recognition for something. The system is what we call sticks. In some schools, children will start with a certain number of sticks at the beginning of the day, and lose them as their behavior dictates. Good system, but it is reinforcing bad behavior by only acknowledging the bad behavior. I needed something else.

I talked with my son's teacher, and he now gets a chart that tracks on a 4 level scale what his behavior is for each part of the day. I get 6 to seven indicators for the day. When he gets home, he pulls out his daily sheet, and he gets or loses sticks according to his chart.For simplicity lets use the grading scale. For an 'A', he would receive two sticks; for a 'B', he would receive one. For a 'C', he would lose one stick; for a 'D', he would lose 2. There are also incidents where he does not get any sticks. For instance, if he gets a parent alert, or does not do his work in class and has to finish it at home.

After he gets his sticks for the day, he gets to decide if he wants to save them, or if he wants to spend them. When I started this method, I took all his privileges away. He now has to pay for them. For watching an hour of TV, whatever he wants, he has to pay 3 sticks. For watching a show with me, he pays less, although it does still cost him. Things he really enjoys that are more difficult to set up, like video games or board games, cost him a little more. It's allows you to personalize it to your child, and it works amazingly.

Now my son, who is only 5, knows totally that his behavior at school totally affects what he gets to do at home. If he is not good at school, he will not have any sticks to purchase privileges. He is also learning to budget a little bit. If e wants to play video games all the time, he runs out of sticks very quickly, but if he keeps them and watches a little TV, or colors, his sticks last longer.

I am really glad I found a system that works well for him, and that he understands. He no longer has to even ask me how many per grade he gets, or how many to pay for each of his privileges, he knows, and is ready to do them all on his own. He is totally in control of his own punishment and reward system, and he knows what it means and what it costs him not to listen.

Learn more about this author, Aubrey Williams.
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