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Toddlers are by nature defiant. After months of being unable to express themselves, they are now ambulating efficiently, and articulating their ideas. Every incidence of misbehavior is a test of sorts-can i get away with this today? They are testing boundaries. Ever hear a parent say no, because you are not big enough, as a reason to their child? to the child time is rather insignificant, and perhaps the next day when they try they are wondering if they are big enough today. Given enough times of hearing no and with appropriate consequences, the attempts will decrease. Children need structure,routine,and consistency. Every day the rules need to be the same, and time after time, i see parents who will yell from afar for their youngsters to come to them, rather than walking over to them and getting down to the child level to communicate. Parenting is a full time difficult job, which requires parents to work for results. One cannot parent from the couch/park bench. Children also appreciate an explanation. Why? is a query of which they are fond, yet over-explanation will lead to argumentation. One reason to answer the why is enough. Kids need to understand also that bad behavior has consequences, and "mess ups" don't get rewards. That perhaps is the hardest part for adults, to stand by their threats. I am reminded of an incidence with my nephew, from just a few days ago. In the car he asked if he could have some candy. I gave him one piece, and told him after we ate dinner, he could have more. At this point, he leaned forward and slapped the back of his mothers head, shouting "I want candy, not dinner!" As much as i dislike his mom, and knew she undoubtedly had a smack coming to her, was appalled when she said he could have more. I am not a sit back and watch sort of girl, and being raised in a large family that just keeps growing, i have zero qualms about disciplining my siblings children. This being noted, I obviously stepped in. I told him wimpy guys hit their moms, and now he could not have any of my candy, because he hit her. Well this resulted in tears, and proclamations by him as to how much he hated me, and liked candy, NOT dinner. I stood firm and told him simply, you messed up. Mess ups do not get rewards, like candy and if he wanted any ever he had to quiet down and behave the remainder of the trip. Needless to say, his behavior became worse as the trip went on. Upon our arrival, his mom asked if she could have some of the candy for him, and my reply

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