by Roman Del Bosque

Created on: March 16, 2011

Jealousy is more a case of personal insecurity, than it is a proof of genuine love.  To genuinely love is more about letting go than holding on, more a case of giving love than receiving it, more the result of selflessness than selfishness.  Where there is jealousy, yes, there may also be genuine love; however, given time this love will eventually dissipate and disappear.  Why?  Because of the never-ending disruptive effects that toxic jealousy injects into a relationship.

 
A friend once confided, “I love my husband, but when he goes into a jealous fit, there is nothing in that moment I dislike more than my very own husband.” “I swear,” she added,  “that in such occasions there is nothing I want more than to just get it over with and leave him, but I don‘t because I love him.”

Jealousy is no more a proof of love than physical abuse is proof of caring for the one abused.  They who assert that jealousy is an integral part of a healthy relationship delude themselves.  Sadly, such individuals do not realize the venomous, destructive nature of jealousy, nor do they truly understand the correct definition of love.  Perhaps to these individuals jealousy and love are but two sides of the same coin, the yin and yang of relationships.

 
But this is not so.  Jealousy is a fungus that continues to spread and grow until it eventually chokes out the life of a relationship, bringing it first to its knees and eventually to its final end-stage as well.  Further, not only is jealousy not proof of genuine love in any relationship, it is instead the clearest precursor, evidence, that such relationship will in time crumble.

 
Jealousy has been called the “green monster.”  Let us now take this monster a step further and say that jealousy is the vine, the rope that will eventually choke the life of the relationship in which it had the unlucky misfortune of embedding itself into.  
Jealousy is destructive and selfish.  Jealousy, along with infidelity, has destroyed more marriages and relationships than anything else in our lives.  Jealousy is no proof whatsoever that you love someone or that someone loves you.  They who believe this do indeed delude themselves.

 
Finally, remember that the “green monster” that is jealousy is like a vine, a rope that in time will choke the life out of our relationships.  The only way to rid ourselves of such a monster is to stop it in its tracks whenever it appears.  When we do this, only then will our relationships have a chance to bloom to their full potential.  Is this not what we want from our relationships?

The answer is obvious.  Are we ready to heal our relationships?  Then let us get to it.  For now is the moment to begin the healing process; it is entirely in our hands.   

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