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A Birthday party! A graduation invitation in your stack of mail. Your favorite niece's wedding. Your own 10th wedding anniversary. We all give them, we all receive them, and it's always wonderful either way when a gift is a real "hit." But the art of gift-giving is much much more than just picking out a present that the recipient will love. Here are some special tips to help you become a pro when it comes to choosing and giving gifts.

KIDS' BIRTHDAYS: Just ask any parent - a good thing NOT to buy for their child is a toy that will break the first time it is played with, one that makes annoying or loud sounds, or something that is inappropriate for the child's age. Depending on how close you are to the birthday boy or girl, it is often a good idea to check with the parents to make sure that your gift doesn't duplicate someone else's or an item the child already owns. And here is an idea that I have found very useful as a parent AND as a gift-giver. If the birthday boy or girl has a sibling who is a very young child, it is a wonderful and appreciated gesture to present that child a small "un-birthday" gift to make him/her feel special, too.

NON-GIFT GIFTS: Sometimes the best gifts are the kind that can't be boxed and wrapped and tied up with a bow. Examples of these special kinds of gifts are

1) A home-cooked meal
2) Performing a chore, project, or service for the recipient
3) An outing, such as a trip to the zoo for a youngster
4) A song, poem, or story created and/or performed just for them
5) Gift certificates or gift cards
6) Money - almost always appreciated, especially by graduates and newlyweds
7) When appropriate, a donation to a special charity in the recipient's name

FLOWERS: It's so easy and convenient to simply give instructions and your credit
card number to a florist who delivers. But wait just a minute. While many of us are crazy about fresh flowers, others may not necessarily appreciate receiving them. Some people are allergic to flowers, or may object to them for "green" reasons. My mother didn't like receiving fresh flowers. She acknowledged that they were pretty, but said it always made her feel sad to watch them wilt and die, then to have to throw them away. And you should consider whether the situation is appropriate or not. I was once hideously embarrassed when an over-eager suitor, whom I had reluctantly finally agreed to meet for coffee the night before, sent a dozen red roses to my office, along with a card that read, "Thanks for a wonderful evening!"

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