by Andrew Nostvick

Created on: March 14, 2007   Last Updated: May 14, 2007

I love rock and I'm not talking about that crap they play on the pop stations 50 times a day, I know it's not that much, but it seems like it. Bands like the All-American Rejects or Simple Plan, they're not REAL rock. If you want real rock music, you listen to Metallica, Hendrix, Clapton (his good stuff), The Doors, AC/DC and Black Sabbath. You have posters of Ozzy on your wall, not Oasis, THAT'S NOT ROCK!

A true rock concert doesn't have girls screaming loudly trying to get onstage. No. A true rock concert has the lead singer screaming loudly like a girl onstage.

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH.......HELLLLOOOOOOO CLEVELAND....AHHHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......What's that?....Oh...HELLOOOOOOOOO DETROIT.........

Bands at rock concerts don't wear a black t-shirt with a black tie with black pants, that never happens....Hell we're lucky if the band is wearing clothes, most of the time somebody isn't wearing a shirt. There is no matching clothes, it's either shirts or skins, like in street basketball. Most of the time the drummer never wears a shirt. It's so they standout better, being the proverbial tuba section of the true rock band.

True bands at rock concerts are completely out of it half the time, high on life and a couple of other over-the-counter meds.

The drummer, he usually parties the heaviest and spends the most time in rehab out of the entire band. He lays the wood to the drum and unleashes a fury unlike anything ever heard on this earth.

He secretly prays in a closet to a Neil Peart montage full of pictures, Rush Albums, a pair of his tights from a show in London and drum sticks stolen from a show in Toronto, not to mention the lock of hair stolen from an airport in Berlin.

The guitarist, he is second behind the lead singer, in terms of getting the most women. He is a genius, without him the rest of the band sounds like crap. His powerfully explosive riffs gets the half-drunk fans to their feet, flailing their arms around like careless idiots.

The bassist.....He uhhhh....Well what he does is....Huh...He plays deep melodic sounds to accomodate the guitarist. He gets paid the least out of the entire band and well he gets whatever the drummer leaves for him.

The concerts usually last as long as the liquor cabinet that awaits the band at every stop. The bus, well it hasn't been detailed in three months and it smells like a barn, looks like one too, especially when they travel through the rural states like Iowa.

That is rock people. The concerts, the band, the music, EVERYTHING...Let's not forget that....Let's Rock on.....and not bring Sexyback.

Learn more about this author, Andrew Nostvick.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.