by Danie Russell

Created on: March 06, 2011   Last Updated: March 16, 2011

It is not the criminal things that are hardest to confess, but the ridiculous and the shameful. Jean Jacques Rousseau

With that said, we all have things hidden deep inside that we hope no one will ever hear of. Some of these things are completely harmless little mistakes we would rather just not bring up or discuss. While some are deep, dark, nasty little things that keeps you looking over your shoulder at every turn. This collection contains confessions that have happened in churches all over. You will find yourself amazed at the things people are looking to be forgave for and shocked at acts they have committed.

(Warning- All names used are different to protect the identity of our confessors.)

February 6th, 1989
Westwood Catholic Church
Billy Bob enters confessional

Billy “Howdy, In the name of that guy’s Father, his Son and some of that Holy Spirit. Amen.”

Priest “May God who has enlightened every heart, help you know your sins and trust in his mercy.”

Billy “Forgive me Father, I sinned. It’s been some 7 odd years since I last confessed.”

Priest “Go on my son, what troubles you?”

Billy “First Father I've been watching that MTV and had impure thoughts about all the women I see. Needless to say when my wife walked in last week on me fondling the remote and drooling like a dog in heat, I was sleeping on the couch for a week.”

Priest (slightly shocked): "Is that all son?"

Billy “Well no Father I went to one of those music stores to get the wife a fancy record, on account she was still madder than a cat on a tin roof in a rain storm. When I asked the purple haired punk behind the counter where I could find the Patsy Cline records, he laughed and said the 70’s dumb hill Billy. Therefore, of course, I said, well my name is Billy now let me show you just how dumb I really am. Then reached across the counter and ripped that bullring right out of his nose. In my defense Father, I’ve snatched on a lot of bull’s rings in my life, but not one of those came out like that boy’s did. If it counts with God then I really do hope they found that missing skin and that he'll be able to smell again.”

Priest (Unsure of how to reply) “Billy Bob I’ve heard your sin, I suggest less interest in the evils of T.V. instead spend more time with your wife. The lord will be pleased with this and grant you forgiveness. As for the boy you should say 35 Hail Mary’s and

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