by Ann E. Smith

Created on: March 03, 2011

Facebook remains hugely popular, with millions of people worldwide actively using this social networking site. Its visibility has become even greater in recent months with the success of the film The Social Network. While friends and family enjoy connecting with ease on this website, is it all fun and games?

According to this CNN blog by Ian Kerner, it’s not – as Facebook can be the platform through which dangerous liaisons can develop. As Kerner writes: “If you or your mate are spending too much time strolling down a digital Memory Lane, an emotional affair could be in the works.” And this makes sense when you think about it. It’s far too easy to get nostalgic when thinking about the past, including your first love in high school or college.

And when doing so, your memories tend to be golden hued. In other words, you remember far more of the good than of the mundane or annoying. Add Facebook to the mix, which offers an easy opportunity to touch base with this person – and you may find yourself tempted to re-establish contact. 

While this all sounds innocent, it can lead to trouble. Kerner encourages people to avoid romanticizing people from the past too much. Otherwise, you’re likely to remember only the good about someone and then make unfair comparisons with the present – as you will minimize the negative aspects of past loves and situations.

If you do establish contact, it’s wise to let your spouse or current partner know. Otherwise, an element of secrecy emerges. Soon, stories are shared and communications may ignite old feelings. At this stage, you and the other person may start thinking about what it would be like to reunite, and from there, all kinds of feelings of intimacy and longing can develop This new bit of excitement in your life can be further fueled by fantasy, and the next thing you know, you may be engaged in an emotional affair, which many consider a form of infidelity. It would certainly be hurtful to your spouse if they found out you were sharing secrets with someone outside of your relationship.

To avoid such problems, be aware of these dangers and monitor your behavior. Perhaps make a decision not to contact old flames. Keep the past in the past, and focus on your present. And another option suggested by Kerner is to deactivate your Facebook account so as to fully remove the temptation.

Emotional affairs can be gravely damaging. Stay mindful of this fact, and engage in behaviors that support your current relationship when possible – if you value your spouse or significant other and want to keep what you have.

Source: http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2011/03/03/e-motional- affairs-how-facebook-leads-to-infidelity/

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