by Christopher Luke

Created on: March 03, 2011

WHAT DO YOU SEE WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME?

What do you see when you look at me;
A slim tall white male?
Correct. But look more carefully and tell me
What do you see when you look at me?
My fast-receding hairline and square jaw?
Correct. Both inherited characteristics of my late father;
But what else do you see when you look at me?
My narrow eyes and bulging nose?
Correct. Both inherited characteristics of my late mother;

But what else do you see when you look at me?
My clothes perhaps or maybe my composure;
Both potentially a reflection of my inner-self?

Ah, yes, my inner-self
That which governs my mind and soul,
Which amateurs and professionals alike call “mental health”,
Best understood only by listening and speaking.
But how carefully are you listening to what I am saying?
Think for one moment before opening your mouth
And ask yourself “are you speaking at, or speaking to, me”?!

You see, beyond my clothes and under my skin,
Is a mind trapped inside.
Listen for one moment and you may hear
The cry from within: “Get Me Out Of Here”!
“From where” you may ask me
And the answer is “at times I don’t know;
When my anxiety overwhelms me and my depression overshadows me,
I do not really know whether I should come, stay, or go”!

I have no way of knowing
Whether I am coming or going
Nor can I tell, how long I will remain
Psychologically locked outside in the freezing rain,
Wishing to be in a happier warmer place.

As ANON once said
“Do not walk in front of me,
I may not always follow;
Do not walk behind me,
I may not always lead;
Just walk beside me,
And be my friend”!

So, set aside your prejudice;
Judge me for who I am not who you would like me to be.
In reality I am no different to you,
Just skin and bone
With a mind that sometimes wanders
And at other times, takes flight on its own!
But please remember when you hear me whine and you retort “No more”
That mental illness affects one-in-four.

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