by Ariele Chow

Created on: March 13, 2007   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

All around us there is pressure to be in a relationship, especially for females. If a male is single, it is assumed he merely enjoys his freedom. If a woman is single, people start asking questions: "Why isn't she seeing anyone?", "What's wrong with her?", "Doesn't she want to be happy?" And if these questions cannot be satisfied she, too, is seen as a freedom-lover, but is also labelled trashy or a slut.

Sure, she flirts shamelessly and perhaps she goes on a few dates, no strings attached, but why shouldn't she? She is entitled to her freedom as a single woman. How does one find someone they want to be serious with if they don't flirt and date?

Why must everyone be in a relationship anyway? Countless times I have heard "Don't worry, we'll find you a guy!" or "You need to get a boyfriend." To which I reply "Why?" The response: "So you'll be happy." Apparently, in today's society, we can't be happy on our own; we need a significant other to be happy.

What kind of culture is this? Long ago women were believed to be dependent on men. They could not possibly be independent. That was balderdash! Well, the times have changed and society claims to have changed as well. Has it really? Women are still being told they need a man to have that fairy tale life of happiness and success.

This statement discourages single women from living full and happy lives. It becomes extremely difficult when everywhere you turn there is some advertisement flaunting a couple in love. It practically beckons the passerby, seemingly whispering in their ear, "Don't we look happy? Don't you crave this? You could be happy too if you had someone to love and love you back." Couples are made out to be superior than singles and it makes the unattached feel inferior and incomplete.

The truth is, if people allowed themselves, everyone could be happy no matter what their relationship status. People would learn to enjoy life. Nobody would end up in relationships they never really wanted to be in to begin with. A lot of people end up in relationships because they buckled beneath the pressure to fit in. They were so consumed with wanting to be involved-with anyone. Eventually they end up going from relationship to relationship, always rebounding, simply because they are afraid to be alone. It makes being in a relationship with someone you truly care about less special.

Embrace the single life. Maybe one day you will find someone just right for you. When you do, it will be something great. It won't just be something to conveniently hide behind. Then again, maybe you won't find Mr. or Miss Right. And that is okay too. Know that being single is not the worst thing in the world. In fact, it is pretty spectacular.

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