Somewhere along the way Americans have forgotten the basic personality traits of class and charm. It may be due to so much emphasis upon finances, employment and secular economic struggle, but it would be nice to see a return to the lost art of charm. When becoming rich and collecting things become the primary focus of happiness, people tend to forget all the marvelous interior beautiful elements of the soul and nature of being that cost absolutely nothing and bring great joy.
Three modern-day examples of charm off the top of my head would be Gwen Ifill of PBS' "Washington Week," Bill Moyers and Charlie Rose. They have the ability to put people immediately at ease and open up. They are nonjudgmental, yet firm in their own convictions and they all have modest and very infectious smiles. No one has a clue as to their personal wealth, causes they fight for or products they promote, if any.
The elders of etiquette like former Ann Landers say true class is being able to put another at ease despite any circumstance. If your neighbor has just spilled wine all over your white carpet, the charmer is the first to remark "oh that old thing, don't worry about it!" People with class do not discriminate. They are the folks handing out donations at the food banks because they are not intimidated by the poor. An old movie entitled "The Unsinkable Molly Brown" based on a true story of rags to riches illustrates beautifully how classless people shun others who are not "like" them because, as Molly's preacher tells her, "their veneer is too thin." Like Molly, her neighbors clawed their way to Pennsylvania Avenue in Denver, but unfortunately they have forgotten their roots and the art of being civil. The line between before and after, their "veneer", is still painfully apparent. Only European royalty and those whose lives she saved from drowning on the Titanic realized how special and unique she was.
Class and charm are not things that can be bought or sold. There are "charm" schools who can teach you table manners and how to remove one's jacket and address others on the phone. Many employers are finding out that they actually need to utilize these schools in order to make their employees better at presentation. But the "it" factor, one's honest gut-level ability to know who one is and how one relates to others in the world around you cannot be learned. American Idol often talks about the "it" factor when interviewing singers for the show. They can tell within the space of a five-minute Q and A whether the contestant feels comfortable and makes others comfortable as well. The hot heads, prima donnas and absent-minded fools are quickly eliminated during Hollywood week when they are put into groups. Those who make room for the underdogs, who work together patiently and those who know how to compliment each other and even the judges are always a sure bet and given extra consideration. Desire and talent are not enough to carry them through. Kindness will.
Being rich, however, may be a pre-requisite to true class. Not material wealth per se, since the true person with class does not disclose how truly rich they are nor do they tell how much they have given away to others. The person with class and charm would be someone who was raised affluently, for example, with an appreciation for nature or taking the road less traveled. Speaking of travel, people with true class have to travel. It would be in their natures to want to explore the world around them and all those marvelous other cultures - think "Globe Trekkers," those marvelous young adventurers who apparently exude class and charm anywhere and with anyone in the world even while hitchhiking and camping out.
Like that Christmas classic, "It's a Wonderful Life," having many friends is a form of richness. Having the right friends probably more so in this day and age of betrayal and deceit. True friends will tell you when you are on the wrong path. Anyone who spits on the sidewalk, tosses trash out their car window or texts and tweets while driving are modern-day examples of those who simply have no class whatsoever because they are disrespecting their own space as well as yours. Even birds do not foul their own nests. However, the birds who sing each morning along with each other are showing off who they are, have something important to say and are usually appreciated by their fellows without cost or remuneration. I think this is why the Lord referred to birds when speaking about heavenly provision and to not be anxious for anything.
One rule of thumb for anyone seeking to rise from the pack should be to ask oneself "what is this going to cost me?" If money is the focus, forget it. If time, energy, conscience, humility, patience, perserverence, courage and kindness are behind a decision, you have probably entered into the arenas of your life which will yield the greatest rewards.