by Cinda Smaagaard

Created on: February 22, 2011   Last Updated: February 25, 2011

Somewhere along the way Americans have forgotten the basic personality traits of class and charm.  It may be due to so much emphasis upon finances, employment and secular economic struggle, but it would be nice to see a return to the lost art of charm.  When becoming rich and collecting things become the primary focus of happiness, people tend to forget all the marvelous interior beautiful elements of the soul and nature of being that cost absolutely nothing and bring great joy.

Three modern-day examples of charm off the top of my head would be Gwen Ifill of PBS' "Washington Week," Bill Moyers and Charlie Rose.  They have the ability to put people immediately at ease and open up.  They are nonjudgmental, yet firm in their own convictions and they all have modest and very infectious smiles.  No one has a clue as to their personal wealth, causes they fight for or products they promote, if any.

The elders of etiquette like former Ann Landers say true class is being able to put another at ease despite any circumstance.  If your neighbor has just spilled wine all over your white carpet, the charmer is the first to remark "oh that old thing, don't worry about it!"  People with class do not discriminate.  They are the folks handing out donations at the food banks because they are not intimidated by the poor.  An old movie entitled "The Unsinkable Molly Brown" based on a true story of rags to riches illustrates beautifully how classless people shun others who are not "like" them because, as Molly's preacher tells her, "their veneer is too thin."  Like Molly, her neighbors clawed their way to Pennsylvania Avenue in Denver, but unfortunately they have forgotten their roots and the art of being civil.  The line between before and after, their "veneer", is still painfully apparent.  Only European royalty and those whose lives she saved from drowning on the Titanic realized how special and unique she was.

Class and charm are not things that can be bought or sold.  There are "charm" schools who can teach you table manners and how to remove one's jacket and address others on the phone.  Many employers are finding out that they actually need to utilize these schools in order to make their employees better at presentation.  But the "it" factor, one's honest gut-level

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