by Ramona Taylor

Created on: February 21, 2011   Last Updated: February 22, 2011

When filing for divorce, one of the most challenging parts of the process is not splitting property or separating accounts. It’s deciding who will have custody of the child or children.  Highly contested custody cases can ultimately harm the child or children involved.  And, sometimes, courts may act to bar one parent from having regular contact and limit their input on their own child’s upbringing.  Losing the ability to be a positive influence in your child or children’s life can be scary to a parent; however don’t lose hope.  Here are some tips on how to retain custody of your children in a divorce.  

Types of Custody 

When a child is born, biological parents each have custody of their child. No order is truly necessary as long as the parents work together to raise their child; however, custody has many aspects. 

Physical custody of a child means that the child lives in the home with a parent.  Legal custody relates to the ability of parents to make decision, such as educational, religious influences, and medical treatment, regarding the child.  Having sole custody means that one parent can make all decisions. Having shared or joint custody allows both parents to have input. 

Many folks confuse visitation with custody, but visitation is not the same. Visitation allows one parent, who is the child does not live with, to have access.  Visitation can be in-person, on the phone or even through virtual means. The intent of this form of parent-child contact helps foster a healthy relationship with the non-custodial parent.

 General Considerations 

When a court awards physical custody to one parent over another, the court has made a determination that the child is better suited in one parent’s home or household versus the other parent’s home or household.  The court will consider financial stability, emotional stability, familial supports, educational opportunities, and even the comments and desires of the child. 

When a parent does not obtain physical custody, the court is not often saying the parent is a bad parent. The judge is basically deciding that the other parent can better provide for the child.  

Best Interest of the Child 

Any decision about a child, whether it’s custody or visitation, is govern by the precept of “best interest.”  Children are young, impressionable and need a positive healthy home environment. 

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