by Jacquie Schmall

Created on: February 15, 2011   Last Updated: February 22, 2011

The most important feature of talking to strangers, is to reflect a real interest in what they have to say. For example, if someone stops you to ask directions, you might help them, and then inquire as to where they live. It's a question that can turn into a very satisfying conversation.

I have discovered the knack for starting conversations with strangers is curiosity. Of course, one needs to consider the circumstance, and not interrupt people who are otherwise involved.

Wherever there are people walking around, many would welcome a reason to smile, or to share something they hadn't noticed until you spoke to them. For decades, wherever I go, I take the initiative, and interrupt the journey of strangers. The success of starting a conversation with a stranger is based on sincerity, and a question or comment that allows that person to feel visible in a complimentary way. 

In other words, a conversation with a stranger begins with a sincere interest in sharing an observation or to point out something nice about the stranger. The small talk is generated by an instant mutuality, not forced by a previous agenda. The small talk that ensues creates a major benefit for both people.

Yesterday, while walking in a seaside park in California, a Sea Gull screeching overhead, I stopped by a gentleman sitting on a bench, and asked him if he had thrown his voice. As we made eye contact, the Sea Gull screeched again, and I asked him the question again. We laughed at the same time. It was an off the cuff comment, and brought two strangers into a lively ten minute conversation about being in the park, the kind of day it was, the color of the ocean, the weather, and we even talked about the tides. Then he gave me a pamphlet listing all of the tides for the month. Both of us clearly refreshed by the encounter, we bid a friendly goodbye. He went back to his law offices, and I continued on my journey to discover more of the day, and yet another stranger.

If one lives alone, or with a large family, to engage in a casual conversation with someone along the path of your daily travel, has the potential to invigorate the rest of your day. According to the theory of six degrees of separation, you may even meet someone who is unexpectedly connected to you, or your family. It has happened to me.

Since people are gathered everywhere, to notice an initial spark of intuition which nudges you to speak to one of them, may need a bit of practice. People actively engaged with another,

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