by Bob Mundle

Created on: February 13, 2011

Despite what you might think it’s not easy being the man in the middle, the broker of the deal.  People assume that it all just happens by chance, like someone pulls the string and ‘twang’ that’s it.  It’s not like that.  Before you can get to the heart of it, there is a lot of hard work to do, and like any risky speculative endeavour, you’ve got to weigh the pros and cons and learn all about the parties before matching them.  There’s no point in aiming to put A with C, for instance, if either A or C already has something going with B and D.  The merger won’t happen, and when it all falls apart, it’s my chubby backside that’s on the line

One thing I have learned through years of practice is that there is no room for sentiment in this job.  You have to be pragmatic, rational and scientific, although a bit of creative imagination certainly helps.  My office is full of flow and pie charts, graphics, surveillance tapes (I need to keep track of my victims – sorry, clients) probability and feasibility studies that litter the place.  I’ve probably got more spread sheets than NASA, and my in-trays are high with requests for help from desperate people.  It does give me a warm feeling helping those in need, and it would be even nicer if I got a thank you card occasionally, but that’s human nature for you.   However, I have to say that I get the biggest satisfaction from helping those who try to resist – those, you might say, wary of hostile takeovers. 

You might think that you’re a hard one.  It’s the kind of game I enjoy, using all my cunning and guile to track you down, and sorry, there’s no contest.  Choosing the venue and the time and the place, arranging for all the factors to coincide and getting the participants there together does take a lot of skill, and the harder the challenge, the more I’m up for it – and then, in the end, I have you in my sights – I aim, fire, and, sorry matey, you’re gone, transfixed by my arrow. 

Cupid’s arrow.

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