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How do you move on after the death of a loved one

by TrystynLynn

Created on: February 13, 2011

Losing a loved one is tough and is hard for anyone. One can never be prepared for a loved one to pass on but it will happen sometime someday sooner or later. In s short span of 2 and a half to 3 years, i had 4 people taken away from me. My teacher, a close friend, my maternal grandmother and my maternal grandfather and now I am trying to prepare for my paternal grandmother's passing and I know i ca never be prepared for it.


The closest and dearest one to me who passed away was my maternal grandfather. He was the one who brought me to my first movie. He drove me  to an from school, cooked for me when I was a baby and pampered me. Always showed that he cared and was humorous trying to speak a language he had difficulty in; English. His first language was mandarin.


When he passed, it was tough. I was unable to handle it and because of my culture, the funeral lasted 7 days and i refused to leave his side. I slept as near to his coffin as I could so I could steal that every single last glance I could before he was cremated. During that time, all I could think of was why he couldn't wait till I got my drivers' license to drive him around and for me to get married and give him the grandchildren he so very much wanted.


As time went by and the funeral was over, the absence of him in the house was painful and I cried every time i looked at the chair he used to sit on and read his newspapers but it came a time where I had  to pull myself together and stop being depressed and mourning the loss of my grandfather. Instead, I decided to channel the love and energy I had for him to better use.


I started to think about what he loved. He loved to watch animal documentaries and movies. He also loved to cook and eat. Most of all, He wanted the best for his grandchildren and for us to make something out of ourselves. He will always be in my heart like how anyone's loved one would be in theirs and the memory of them will always live on in us and who we are.


The pain will not go away so easily but you can always do something about it. Talk about your loved one, that always helps. Do something that is dedicated to them. For me, I went on to pursuing my career in film production which I dedicate to my grandfather in my heart. My passion for film is partly because of him and in my free time, I cook and create new recipes which I know he would have loved and when my friends and I talk about family, talking about him always makes me happy and brings back memories.


No matter where he is, he will always be in my heart and thanks to him, I am who I am today. It should be the same for everyone. It is not easy but it is possible with time. 




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