by Suz Neave

Created on: February 05, 2011

There is a long list of elements that are important in a relationship. Generally having someone to share our lives with, share our experiences, basically having someone there to be a witness to our lives, are just some of them. These desires, of course, in the true sense cannot be met when you are in a long distance relationship. But is that really true?

Long distance relationships are a result on many different circumstances. Work, probably being the major one, and often can happen at the beginning of a relationship or a long way along. Financial commitments often result in one person having to make the painful decision to move away. This is not without its own stresses and traumas and if there is any doubt in the relationship, something like living apart can certainly end up being the make of break of things. But don’t all relationships have problems?

Living apart from each other is often no more frustrating than being together. If you live with someone, you sometimes reach a time when you are crying out for space, fearing you are losing you own identity. What happened to all those things you used to do, all your friends you used to socialize with? In the same way that in relationships there is a way to overcome the desire for space, dealing with being apart can also be overcome. It doesn’t work for all relationships, that is true, but if the relationship is built on trust and is not blighted with insecurities, then there is no reason why time apart cannot be seen as good therapy for a relationship.

I have friends who spent 5 years of their married life apart from each other (with frequent meetings of course) and found that they still shared their life’s experiences with each other, were there for each other when they needed support or comfort and in fact, both agreed that their love for each other was strengthened by the experience. With modern technology making connecting with people increasingly easy, there is no reason to feel distant from anyone, particularly a loved one. 

Our approach to life is changing, our reliance and commitments to others is weakening. The support and security needed from relationships before, is no longer a priority. Both men and women are becoming successfully independent and are not pressured by society to maintain a conventional relationship. This in itself it resulting in stronger bonds between people, with less sense insecurity. Therefore, there is no reason why a long-distance relationship cannot work successfully. 

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