by Renee Morgan

Created on: January 31, 2011

Yes, it is ok to date a friend’s ex, but there are measures to take to try to keep the friendship. If the two of you are truly friends, than the two of you should have enough respect for each other to be able to communication with each other. Communication and respect is the key to any friendship and these two items will also be the key factor to the relationship you will have with the friend’s ex.

There is an old saying, “everybody isn’t for everyone and everyone is not for everybody”, just because the two of them did not make it in a relationship does not mean that either one of them is a bad person. What it does mean is that the two of them were not for each other. You should talk to both the friend and the ex about what was the true reason for the breakup?

For some, the friendship is as close as family and many are closer. The friend might feel that the ex has broken their heart and taken all life from them. To strike up a relationship with the ex, might make the friend feel as though the ex is taking other part of them, this is why you need to communicate with the friend. Let the friend know that the relationship is not something that either you or the ex is doing to cause hurt to them. Talk to the friend about how you feel about the ex and way you truly want a relationship with the ex. Let the friend know that you want them to keep their friendship and that a relationship with the ex is not some super plan to push them away.

Everyone in the circle needs to talk and find a common ground. Everyone need to be aware of the others feelings. Everyone needs to understand that there will be a little tension at first. Everyone need to realize that maybe you will need to ease into the friends night out if you are bringing the friend’s ex and if the friend has not yet started back to dating, you might have to wait a little longer before making a daily appearance together around the company of the friend. When you and your friend are together, do not talk about your new found love life and all the little things that the ex does for you. Be mindful (respect) of what you do and say around the friend.

A good friend is something you do not want to lose but if the relationship with the friend’s ex is good for you, the friend will see that and will be happy for you. With respect and communication, if the relationship does not work out with the friend’s ex, the friend will still be there for your turn for a shoulder to cry on.

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