by Tod Demuth

Created on: March 11, 2007   Last Updated: May 07, 2007

I will not pretend to be an expert; I can only relate how as a father and husband what I have changed in my life in order to become the best I can be.

First of all, I tell myself that I am not on this earth for my benefit. I am here for my wife and my three children. I'm pretty shallow when I think about what I want out of life. It becomes quite evident from the true rewards of being a family man start to fulfill my quest in life: to have a purpose.

I have discovered that even if I was President of the company, I am not irreplaceable at work. The world outside my home will go on without me without so much as a ripple in the water. However, time is all I have to give my wife and children. I give them all I have available, because is I should ever leave this world, it would leave this home with a huge void...one that cannot be replaced by anyone but me.

But it hasn't been easy; I have "aspirations" of financial success, climbing the corporate ladder, becoming famous and important...but the only one who would benefit would be me. Even then, I know it would not satisfy. It would only lead to more of the same.

I used to work two jobs to make as much money as I could; now I just do one, and while I am there, I do the best I can with what I have. However, when I am home with my family, I am home. On weekends and times I have with my family, I make myself available to them - not my golf game, not my hobbies, my pasttimes. All of those things can wait. For instance, I had a rough week of work and was looking forward to spending some time reading and relaxing - but the family was ready to do something together. I put down my book, got my creaky bones out and we went.

Oh sure, I have a few things I do that are "my thing." These occur usually once every month or two. I have discovered that being with my family is "my thing."

I may identify with my career, as it seems most of us do; but the secret to being the best husband and father is to identify with your family. I may not be on Earth for my benefit, but that has been to my benefit.

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