by Marissa Meleske

Created on: January 31, 2011

I was always a daddy's girl. I still am. The last year and a half of my life, has been a roller coaster. On July 27,2009, my family lost my father to Chronic Lymphocyctic Leukemia (CLL). To say it was a shock to my family, would be a complete understatement. Not only was the news shocking, but the hits my family has taken, blow after blow, really made us wonder at times, if things will ever get better.

I will never forget that morning of February 2008. I woke up with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I heard my grandmother on the phone in her room next door to mine, talking to my mom. My first thought was, "it's early in the morning, why is my mom not home?". She's always been a stay at home mom, and would definitely be home around 7 am. Then I heard her talking about blood clots, and my dad's name mentioned. I immediately went into her room to find out what was going on. I asked her "what's going on?". Part of me was praying at this point, that my dad was just tired and needed an excuse to stay home, that his boss would believe. Unfortunately, that was not the case. My grandmother told me he and my mom were at the hospital because he was having pains in his chest. The doctor found 4 blood clots. At this point, it was a blessing to hear that news. Blood clots are often "silent killers" and he only had pain because one of his blood clots were pressing up against his lung. If he didn't have that pain, chances are he wouldn't have woken up that day.   Even still, I burst into tears, telling my mom to have someone come pick me up. I needed to see for myself, that he was OK. Looking back now, I must have known something was wrong. The news I got up until that point, was pretty good and yet here I was hysterical crying. Once I got there, my dad was laying in the emergency room bed, and the doctor walked in. She told him that he'd be put on Cumadin for the blood clots. Then, without barely taking a breath, she said "and about the Leukemia...". There it was. The reason for the tears and knot in my stomach, earlier that morning. Everything after this point is a fog to me. I froze and must have blanked out. Once I got my bearings, I thought, "excuse me? What a cold way to break it to someone that they've got Leukemia!". Next thing I know, the doctor is leaving the room with her clipboard. I wheeled out to her right away in my wheelchair and asked, "excuse me? Can you explain to me what's going on? Is my dad going to be ok?" and

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