by Alice Xavier

Created on: January 30, 2011

When going on any first date, there can be a lot of pressure. Pressure to look your best, say the right things and hopefully, if all goes well, leave with a second date on the cards. Worrying about all these things can often make you extra nervous and it becomes easy to make dating mistakes. Here is a list - in no particular order - of top 10 dating mistakes to avoid when going on a first date:

1. High expectations often get the better of us on a first date. We imagine it going great, the wine flowing and the conversation booming, but sometimes, it doesn’t go quite as smoothly. Try to go feeling relaxed and with an open mind, this way you are less likely to be disappointed, if they don’t turn out to be the partner of your dreams.

2. There are some topics you should steer clear of on any first date. Whilst discussing political views or religious beliefs may seem interesting, it can often lead to disagreements, so save these topics for when you both know each other better. Similarly, talking about your future wedding or how many children you plan on having can be extremely off-putting. 

3. Talking too much, is something we are all guilty of at times but monopolising the conversation on a first date, won’t get you very far. Try to let the other person speak and listen carefully to what they have to say. Nobody likes an incessant talker, so remember that conversation is a two-way thing.

4. Getting emotional on a first date is a big no, no. Whether you’re having a personal crisis or just having a bad day, don’t bring your problems to the date with you. If you are feeling down, then reschedule for another time. 

5. Being late or even worse not turning up, is possibly the worst thing you could do on a first date. Try to be punctual and turn up a few minutes early and if you can’t avoid being late, at least ring your date to let them know.

6. Not thinking before you speak. Nerves often get the better of us when we are on a date with someone new, but choosing your words carefully can help you win that all important second date. To avoid a lull in conversation, often people will say the first thing that pops into their head and it sometimes comes across the wrong way. To avoid this, think about what you are about to say carefully and try to hear it as the other person would.

7. Coming across as desperate can put people off. Try not to appear too eager straight away, be laid back and show an interest but don’t come on too strong.

8. Never expect your date to foot the bill. Always take enough money with you to pay for your half; whether it’s a cinema ticket or a three course meal, always offer to contribute.

9. Nobody likes bad manners, so it’s important to remain polite and well mannered especially on a restaurant date. Chew with your mouth closed and use your knife and fork correctly.

10. Finally, no matter how much you want to, don’t talk about your ex. Bringing up a past partner on a first date will only confirm that you, have not yet moved on. Avoid doing this at all costs.

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