by Tracey Parece

Created on: January 30, 2011   Last Updated: January 31, 2011

Common marriage problems after children often involve exhaustion, lack of sleep, money troubles, and lack of sex.  No one ever said that having children was easy.  Although children are immeasurable rewarding, they are also immeasurably exhausting.  It is best to prepare yourself for that eventuality in advance.

Of course, one of the primary reasons for exhaustion after children is lack of sleep.  Children, infants in particular, can make for sleepless nights.  There are midnight feedings and diaper changes in the middle of the night all exacerbated by the constant crying and fussing. 

Common marriage problems after children can be less daunting if the couple prepares for them in advance.  If you understand that there will be changes once the first baby comes, then you can have a battle plan in place to conquer problems as they arise. 

For example, many married couples begin to experience money troubles after children.  Diapers and formula are expensive.  So are clothing, private schools, and school lunches.  It gets even more expensive once you have children in college.  That's why married couples should begin saving for expenses before planning to have children. 

College funds should be started as soon as the baby is born.  You would be surprised how easily money adds up when you plan.  Unfortunately, you might also be surprised how quickly money disappears when you are not careful.

Another one of the common marriage problems after children is a lack of sex.  For physical reasons, women are advised to wait at least six weeks after giving birth before resuming intercourse.  Unfortunately, it sometimes takes longer than that for a woman to feel ready emotionally to resume sex after giving birth.

The solutions to all these common marriage problems after children are patience, understanding, and teamwork.  A couple needs to be patient with each other more than ever once children are added to the equations.  Think before you speak, choose your words carefully, pick your battles, or avoid battles altogether.

Being understanding means putting yourself in your partner's shoes.  This can be difficult when both parties are tired and sleep deprived, but the results are worth it.

Teamwork is perhaps the most important way to resolve common marriage problems after children.  The added burden your growing family adds to the relationship should be borne equally by both parties.  An unequal distribution of responsibilities can lead to even more problems.  If both partners dedicate themselves completely to their spouse and children, marriage problems after children will be much less common.

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