by Amanda Ines

Created on: January 22, 2011

Having been an abused woman myself for nearly 25 years I think I can confidently comment on why so many women stay with their abusers either until the end of their days or until they fall victim to the battering hands of their abuser.

There are also other reasons why women stay with their abusers but probably the number one reason is because the abuser manages and usually succeeds into brain washing the woman to think herself useless, old, ugly and unable to support herself and so quite literally she is too frightened to leave the family home. Of course if the woman has her own means the outcome may be quite different, but it is not rare for well off women to get trapped into the net of an abuser as well.

One must in the first place define what an abusive man is like and why he is like the way he is and in nearly all cases it all stems back to his having had a dominant mother. It's no joke, but the film 'Psycho' had a lot of truth in it.

Any man who has had an overly dominant mother will have some sort of a psychological problem when it comes to interacting with women. His inner self will possibly want to get its own back on the way he was treated as a child by his mother and will either consciously or unconsciously take his childhood frustrations out on his female partner or wife.

He wants to prove to himself that he is at last the big male and that instead of letting any other woman dominate him ever again he will show how big he is and dominate her. Well dominate is probably a light word for an abuser because what he really tries to do is push the woman down into a little hole where she feels no more than a worm and will lose all her self confidence. When she is in this state she can be no threat to the abuser and in order to keep her down there he will, on a fairly regular basis, either lash out verbal and abusive humiliation or in the worst of cases physical battering. In other words he has to keep her in this state so that she cannot rise up.

It has to be remembered though that psychological abuse is as harmful as physical abuse, and while the physical type heals eventually the psychological type can leave long term effects.

So if you are a woman who has been caught up in this sort of a relationship you will find that you slowly begin to lose who you are. You become frightened and nervous because you don't know when your partner is going to lash out at you as the surprise element is another part of his strategy in order to keep you on tender hooks and

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