by Marsha Moore

Created on: January 22, 2011

Why Was I Born? Strength in Virginia's Words

(BACKGROUND ON THIS ESSAY)  Virginia is my mom's sister, who died from ovarian cancer at the age of 22, in 1951, when having cancer was a guaranteed death sentence. She handled her illness with a level of dignity and grace that I wish I had.  This passage was written by her a little over a year before her death, November 30, 1950. It was sealed until after she died, when it was read to her family and friends, and published in a local newspaper. I had it re-published about four years ago on Mother's Day.  I am sharing it here at this time, because this month marks the 60th anniversary of her death. My mom has told me stories of how when  Virginia died, she reached both her arms upward, as if to embrace Jesus. I can only imagine what she must have witnessed. It is my hope that her words will inspire and enlighten you.  The following is what she wrote:

For years now, I've been asking myself why was I born? For what reason did the dear Lord bless me with life? I've pondered and wondered, searched and researched. I've sat in church and prayed. Ive prayed. Ive prayed at home -Dear Lord what can I do to help Thee in Thy great work? Wilt Thou reveal unto me my special task?I've tried to be loyal in my church attendance. I've tried to live Christianly. Ive sung the praises of the Lord with all my heart. I began teaching Sunday School when I was fourteen. But all this was not enough. I still found unrest.

Then, as you know, a little over a year ago my troubles began, but because you've been such kind friends, a loyal family, and a devoted husband, you made my troubles yours also.

You've sent me words of cheer, flowers, fruit and candy. You've visited me. You've done my washings and ironings, my housecleaning and cooking. You've rubbed my back. You gave blood for me. You've worried about me. You cared for me in every way imaginable, and then you prayed for me. What angels of mercy you have been, Surely, God has blessed you for the kindness you've shown me.

In these ways, you've made my sufferings much easier. And although I've lost a baby, made four trips to the hospital and five to the operating room within the past year, I haven't lost faith in The Lord. Matter of fact, I've come to know and love Him more than I ever have. I've found Him to be such a wonderful friend that Ive been able to live through many many unpleasant hours of sickness and pains. Even when the odds were against me, I've trusted The Lord, and He has helped me get strong again.

But most important of all, YOU have noticed this. You have seen what The Lord has done for me, and you have found Him for yourself, also. Your faith has been strengthened, too. I know for I've been watching, and I've seen you grow to be more spiritually-minded. And because you have, I have found peace of mind. I feel that this has been my task here on earth-to bring you to The Lord. And even though I have suffered, I have no regrets. I would suffer again for such a cause.

Even now some people are wondering how long I will live, but I have no fear of dying. If The Lord decided to take me, I only pray that when that time comes, you-my friends, family, and husband-will have found enough faith-through my faith-to bear the sorrow of our parting. I pray thee be strong, for only then can The Lord consider my task well-done.

Till we meet again, remember I loved you all-especially you, my dearest husband, and I've found much happiness in knowing you. Your friend, kinfolk, and wife,

Virginia Alleene Silliman

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